I haven't' posted in a while, obviously.
Ive been rather lazy, and preoccupied.
My Oldest daughters' 3rd birthday and birthday party were great, and a great distraction, and possibly cause for my stress lately.
I have been really stressed out. As usual it is mostly about money and about relationship issues.
What else is there to stress about right?
Plenty I know.
I try hard to not stress so much over these things, but to find ways to fix them. Problems are designed to be solved right?
Which means what exactly? I don't know.
I am trying to find resolve to my life's problems, and slowly working toward that.

Anyhow, I am looking forward to a few things in the near future, I am slowly getting my house back into some form of order from the moths of chaos that had been tormenting my sleep and waking hours daily.
I have come a long way on the living room, it LOOKS cleaner, and the floor is vacuumed. yay. I think I need to borrow a carpet scrubber again though and scrub the carpeting and then another re-arrange is in order I think.
I feel that it helps me feel like I've got a fresh start when I shift around the furniture.
Though I like to leave my sewing area as it is, and arrange the rest of the living room. I'd like to re-do that area too, but I don't know what I might do differently, so it stays as is. Besides, it really is the most functional as it is.

Thanks to my Mother, and surprisingly enough Josh as well, there has also been some headway in the kitchen! hooray, since that is my least favorite room in the house to have in disarray. I can't function in there if it's all helter skelter like it has been.
I do plan to tear the whole thing apart and reorganize each and every cupboard though, and this will be a very time consuming and tedious project I suspect. I'm not looking forward to doing it, but will be thrilled when it is done!

Today I should be feeling bummed or something at the fact that the most productive thing  I accomplished was getting the kids to daycare. Then I came home and have been at the computer, hunched over at it the rest of the day.
But good Lord I needed this today, I'd like it to last a little longer, but i really do have to leave and pick the girls up... I needed a mental health day, and Amen that I was able to get it.
I had intended to be productive, but lets be honest, a slightly less stressed momma is a productive thing. Sadly, my kids were much better off being nowhere near me today with how stressed and downright bitchy I was earlier. I felt bad for them being near me at all... and now, after hours of vegging, and coffee.... and diaper stalking, I'm much better, and though I'm not really ready, must go pick them up.

I am rambling and can't focus on a topic, but that's ok... I need to be completely incoherent once in a while.

I'm still stressed over money and relationship crap... but that's on the agenda for another day.
I need to find time that Josh and I can just get away together with out the kids, and not be afraid to actually talk to each other. it's not healthy to only be communicating so... primitively.
alrighty kids, that's all for now. Time to go. I don't want to though.. but I must. my babies will be needing their momma back now